For Gerald

So this is for you Gerald. I am again struck how the quiet sweet interactions between men are never reported. The times when 2 men can look at each other and shake hands, or hug and recognize they like each other. I have been thinking a lot lately about men and the reasons for violence and anger especially among Black, Asian, and Latino communities. There are lots of theories that I have from racism, capitalism and a few other ism's but the effect I see is that men are on guard to challenge, hurt fight each other. I am no exception, I am a trained martial artist have degrees, practice with a variety of weapons and try to scan people as I walk down the street ( as a caveat I don't think I am the baddest mutha out there, I just hope my skills can get me out of a situatuaion so I can run away :-)).

What has been an interesting phenomenon lately is that I am trying a more open approach. I think of my martial art training side as a switch and that I can turn on at the slightest touch. This gives me the room to take a few chances, to look at men that I see on the street with a more openess, and let me tell you that has been the sweetest thing. When I get to talk to some youth that are trying to be hard and they respond and you can tell there is some hunger for connection. To the old man that I get into a brief discussion with the funniest moment and I can respect him as an elder. To seeing you Gerald on the Bart train looking at you for a second, turning away and then saying "who is this man?" Let me take another look and the joy of recogntion.
All this because I have done enough talking, sharing with other men and letting myself feel. It is possible and I so want it for my people, my men to have.

More to come....