Starting in the new year
It is 2006 and I am reinvesting in my writing. I am looking at the things that stop me from writing and deciding to stop them. Writing is a craft that I want to develop and hone. I want to be a wordsmith and ultimately this blog is for me and not for you the potential reader. So in being true to myself.....
I am back from Jamaica and am still in a fog, I am not even sure I can describe the joy and hurt and mixed feelings from being in a country that so shaped my early years. It has been only the last couple of years by being in the Bay area that I have come to love my difference (well at least not hide it so much). In Boston I was considered weird, the level of xenophobia in that part of the world was daunting and I know that because of that immigrants tend to stick together. So here I am claiming my Jamaican, Indian/Black heritage. I remmeber in a previous post I had said that I decide to stay in this country and work for the changes that I would like to happen. I see know that that is more true now than ever. I want to show that this country is great and as a sign of its greatness can stand up and be accountable. Accountable for all the things it has done wrong and the things it does right. So that is my challenge to myself, to love you USA. Define myself as a patriot and say we Americans will be a responsible force in the world, will be held accountable for the injustices we created and to be more collaborative with the rest of the world.
So I dont know what to think as I read the last paragraph LOL I am not sure if I even believe it myself. I do know this though I get to figure this out. The particular revelation that keeps showing up in front of me is to trust my mind. To know that I might make mistakes. Recently there we had a party and a bunch of people came over including 3 lesbians. In the politically correct area such as the Bay I was afraid of saying the wrong thing, of upsetting them and my woman by making some joke that was sexist or saying the word bitch, or something. I realized later that it was my fear that was setting me up to feel resentful so I would potentially say something hurtful. The odd thing is that I know already know one of the women pretty well and really dig her. She is comfortable in her skin and seems to be not afraid or resentful of men. So when 3 lesbians showed up in my house I was a little wary of myself. The ironic thing was after talking wih one woman for about 1/2 an hour I started to to relax and be myself more. There was another young man there and he was being himself and it lightened the mood and we were laughing and having a good time soon enough. The moral of the story is two fold, youth, and young people are not hurt around wanting to connect with people, and it is all about the realtionships. If I knew George Bush personally I bet I could be an influence to get him away from some of his policies that are hurting this country.
More to come
I am back from Jamaica and am still in a fog, I am not even sure I can describe the joy and hurt and mixed feelings from being in a country that so shaped my early years. It has been only the last couple of years by being in the Bay area that I have come to love my difference (well at least not hide it so much). In Boston I was considered weird, the level of xenophobia in that part of the world was daunting and I know that because of that immigrants tend to stick together. So here I am claiming my Jamaican, Indian/Black heritage. I remmeber in a previous post I had said that I decide to stay in this country and work for the changes that I would like to happen. I see know that that is more true now than ever. I want to show that this country is great and as a sign of its greatness can stand up and be accountable. Accountable for all the things it has done wrong and the things it does right. So that is my challenge to myself, to love you USA. Define myself as a patriot and say we Americans will be a responsible force in the world, will be held accountable for the injustices we created and to be more collaborative with the rest of the world.
So I dont know what to think as I read the last paragraph LOL I am not sure if I even believe it myself. I do know this though I get to figure this out. The particular revelation that keeps showing up in front of me is to trust my mind. To know that I might make mistakes. Recently there we had a party and a bunch of people came over including 3 lesbians. In the politically correct area such as the Bay I was afraid of saying the wrong thing, of upsetting them and my woman by making some joke that was sexist or saying the word bitch, or something. I realized later that it was my fear that was setting me up to feel resentful so I would potentially say something hurtful. The odd thing is that I know already know one of the women pretty well and really dig her. She is comfortable in her skin and seems to be not afraid or resentful of men. So when 3 lesbians showed up in my house I was a little wary of myself. The ironic thing was after talking wih one woman for about 1/2 an hour I started to to relax and be myself more. There was another young man there and he was being himself and it lightened the mood and we were laughing and having a good time soon enough. The moral of the story is two fold, youth, and young people are not hurt around wanting to connect with people, and it is all about the realtionships. If I knew George Bush personally I bet I could be an influence to get him away from some of his policies that are hurting this country.
More to come
posted by Khaled at
9:42 AM
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