Thanksgiving Day

So it is Thanksgiving Day and I feel really out of sorts. Some background I am recently married and both me and my wife are in our 30's. We are trying to build a life together that is different from what our parents marriage was like, and so we do things like go to couples counseling and try to be allies to each other and talk about our feelings.

Now I don't want to sterotype men but like a lot of men I know talking about feelings is like pulling teeth, and peeling off your skin at the same time. Especially when talking honestly about what you feel as there is painful but small hope you might get it, but not getting that want or need is crushing. So this is all to say in our couples counseling ( I am a firm believer in Imago Therapy...I can't believe I even have an opinion) some really painful things came up for me. So I sit here on Thanksgiving day and wonder it worth feeling this way, I don't drink, I don't smoke, and I am trying to not eat sugar. Doesn't seem to be a lot else to do to stop feeling so bad.

But then I remember feeling bad isn't going to kill me, Making bad choices from feeling bad might. I have ways to stop feeling so bad, and it means talking to people and being close. Also things stereotypically men do not do. I am trying to break that mold for myself and for the men around me. I want to be able to hang out with guys and be honest not even necessarily deep. I mean I can get close to women but then sex confuses the issue alot of times, as I will get close to women I find attractive.

So I am sitting here typing and wondering whether I can feel better.

More to come